Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Fucking Rankings Post

The law school gods want my soul, and they're pretty close to getting it. Class rankings were just released, and I again raised my GPA by a substantial amount that allowed me to move up several spots in the class. Unfortunately, our class yet again lost JUST ENOUGH people from the bottom of the class to keep me from crossing over that ever-elusive top-X% cutoff I've been chasing since my first law school grades were released. This cutoff will string me along until final grades are released next spring, leaving me precisely one spot outside the cutoff.

I fucking give up. Fuck grades, fuck rankings, fuck the gamesmanship of letter grade avoidance, fuck job searching, fuck employment, fuck "T14" (whatever that really means) elitists, fuck law school, fuck the legal profession in general. What the fuck does it fucking take to move up in this system? How valid can an evaluation system really be when the evaluation criteria are complete bullshit and on top of that, there is no possible upward mobility?

Perhaps the answer to this problem is to game the system like most of the people ranked above me do. Fuck all these substantive classes, I'm going to look up the classes with the highest possible grade distributions and exclusively take those! After I get the ranking I want, I'll take non-graded classes and judicial externships so I can keep my GPA artificially inflated, thereby making it impossible for anyone to overtake me! I see the light at the end of the tunnel...it's the brilliant flash from the energy released when the law school gods finally sever my soul from my body and make me one of their minions.

12 comments:

Silly Little Law Student said...

To move up in the system you should be "servicing" your professors for those As buddy.... of you could have stopped caring about grades and ranks after first semester of 1L year like me....

Think of how many extra beers you could have had if you had stopped worrying and busting your ass 3 semesters earlier :)

Guy Fawkes said...

I've been back and forth between apathy and caring roughly four times now. It's not that I think grades and ranking actually mean anything, it's more that I know people are going to judge me in the future based on things like this, judgments which could affect my employment and the overall way people perceive me. For some reason, I just can't completely stop caring about it when I'm so infuriatingly close to such a valuable class rank cutoff.

Phaedrus said...

Sharon will judge you... she judges people.

I'm going to start a blog/facebook group. I Judge You When Dumbasses Drop out of Law School and Your Class Rank Falls Because of The People Too Dumb to Stick around for One More Football Season

I also judge you because I know how you dressed in high school

Guy Fawkes said...

Phaedrus, don't start judging people based on what happened in high school. That one definitely runs both ways ;)

mootgoescow said...

Only stupid people aren't in the top quarter of their law school. Imo anyone not in the top quarter should just drop out.

mfocker said...

Now now, Phadreas, I thought we agreed to never, ever, ever, mention that shirt again. You know the one I'm talking about.

Sharon said...

It's all a game. Take the easy, non-substantive classes, get the GPA, graduate. Then take a bar review class.

You're right, it doesn't make sense in terms of producing good lawyers. But it's the game, and those are the rules. Succeed in the game so you can change the rules one day.

A_Soveregn_Man said...

You Poor Young BARFLY,wondering why you have to work so hard to start fucking poor people in the Ass. Wouldn't it be Sleazier just to be a Whore on the street, all that schooling to be an agent of the Crown of England???????????? Wake up you fool, study something that will enhance your life from Your own actions and creativity. Not other peoples wealth and miserable circumstances. Once you take the bar you will be asked to commit treason. Mark My words Son.

mootgoescow said...

I hope that comment was taken from some sort of poem or something as it makes little to no sense. While I'm sure we all appreciate you reading and commenting, you really are a presumptuous little court jester arentcha?

Phaedrus said...

Must be another 13 year old interested in World of War craft who found our blog by googling "deaf kid from Barney."

Guy Fawkes said...

That sounds suspiciously like a bot that's designed to target legal-themed blogs. A+ for the laughs though.

mootgoescow said...

Warcraft is one word :/. And don't hate, it's a good game!