Ein Toast

To the end of zee semester. Fuck you. If I could, I would burn you to death with tiny fires. You have tormented me in the most hideous manners imaginable...even blog-people would not understand. Here's to you and my eternal quest to torture and murder you in your sleep.

Brief addendum:

On second thought, murdering you in your sleep might not be sufficiently satisfying. I need to flay you with the sharpened edges of my secured transactions book and papercuts from Prof. Tree Dweller's horrendously deceptive Enviro I exam.

Why Exams Are the Best Time of Year

So my secured transactions exam is tomorrow. The prof is giving us a true 1L issue-spotting exam, but I can't bring myself to hate her because she's a bright-eyed baby prof who hasn't been torched by academia OR practice yet. It seems that way at least. Either that, or I'm just seeing what I want to see.

I care so much about this final that I've studied for roughly 4 hours out of the last two weeks, even though my de facto holiday/finals "break" started before the week of Thanksgiving. My weapons loadout for this exam will include the internet, a gift outline, and the 2000 edition of the secured transactions Nutshell. Right now, I am sipping an admittedly weak gin and tonic while watching West Wing Season 1. Earlier, I chewed through half of Scrubs Season 7.

If I could stroll out of there two hours early with a C-, I would take it and never look back.

I'm not sure "apathy" is the appropriate term anymore. As long as I don't fail any hours I'll have to make up later, thereby extending my tenure in the Fifth Circle where Dante says the slotful go, I'll ecstatically snatch my diploma from the Dean's hands, punch him in the balls, and sprint from the building...all with a goofy-ass grin on my face. Then I'll start studying from the bar ("for" the bar is merely incidental) and the grin will vanish.

Salaries

Nalp is reporting what we've known all along. New lawyer salaries are bimodal. Quite a few people graduate law school and make a lot of money. About the same number graduate law school and make very little money. Both have to pay off the same amount of debt. Almost no one comes out and gets what they truly deserve.

In our area what this means is, there are a limited number of $100,000 jobs. If you get one, good for you. If you don't, your first offer will probably be between $35k-50k. I honestly feel like I'm worth somewhere between $60k-80k. Much more is lagniappe and much less is not worth the debt (or effort) incurred to get the degree. Unfortunately, those jobs don't exist. The difference between big and small law firms in this instance is staggering.

The Reason We Have a New Blogger

Guy Fawkes: we used to joke about getting Law Review polos made and then standing outside the undergrad bar with a giant net

mootgoescow: dude you should

Guy Fawkes: to catch drunk girls

mootgoescow: i dont see why it hasnt happened already...maybe some sort of tort

Lawsuits Against Sports Equipment? Really?

To the visitor who hit our blog using the Google search "sue Hank Aaron's bat": thank you. You brightened an otherwise dreary afternoon in the gray-hued, fluorescent cubicle hell of a state agency. Sheer brilliance.

Doing What Lawyers Do Best

So I did what lawyers do best and procrastinated this weekend. My sister was moving from the dorm to an apartment so I jumped on down to NOLA and helped her move. Of course, I had to take the normal gustation tour. Sadly, the line at Galatoire's was too long to get a first floor seat. A very fortunate cancellation, however, got me a table at my other favorite Friday night place,Antoine's. As always, I was torn between the Escargots a la Bordelaise or the original Huitres en coquille a la Rockefeller. The thing that amazes me about the established restaurants in the Vieux Carre is that the same waiters have worked there for 40+ years. From what I hear, someone has to die for a new waiter to get a spot. Saturday morning was great, I took a jog down St. Charles and topped it off with my favorite coffee at Cafe du Monde. My sister heckles me about being such a tourist, but I love strong coffee. There is just something about their coffee with chickory that does it for me. So I loaded up on coffee to bring home so I can have my cafe au lait in the mornings before work (and likely the nights at work) this summer. After moving my sister into her new Garden District duplex, I just rocked on her porch in seersucker, drank a mint julep, and thought "It's good to own land." Saturday night I stayed away from the Quarter and had dinner at Jacque-Imo's, you haven't lived until you've had alligator sausage cheesecake and Abita Strawberry Beer. Sunday morning was bittersweet as always, back to the cafe du monde for a quick cafe au lait and then to brunch at Brennan's- talk about a meal: turtle soup, Eggs Hussarde, and the original Bananas Foster.

Then it all came crashing down as I drove back a million miles to home where I had Moe's for dinner. I'm now drinking my cafe du monde chickory coffee and doing research for an antitrust article...blah!