Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-28-07

“My mother used to have our new preachers over for lunch when we were younger. We’d have dinner, and then us kids would go outside and play football. I mean, what else are you going to do on a Sunday? Well, this one preacher wasn’t too comfortable with us playing football on what was supposed to be our day of rest, so Mother told us to come inside and do something a little quieter. A few minutes later she saw me heading over next door, and she asked me what I was doing. ‘I’m going over to Jimmy’s house to borrow his poker chips so we can do something a little quieter inside.’”

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-27-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

"They sometimes forget it down there, but Texas is actually…yes, a STATE.”

Monday, March 26, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-25-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

“We can only have a prostitution case if we have…right, sex. So the only way to make the case is if the judge has sex with the prostitute. Then we have good evidence.”

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Spring Breakish

Spring break was officially one of the best ever. Austin, TX is an amazing city, and the company was even better. It didn't even bother me that there were four 5-8 year old girls running around the house for a few days, and I usually don't care much for young children. The break came at a great time in terms of everyone needing a vacation, but it also served as a reminder of how great life can be away from law school.

It's amazing how quickly the week went by. I read about a week's worth of Contracts and worked on the brief a little bit, but that's about it. I'm going to spend the next week and a half kicking my own ass for not getting more done on the brief. The fact that the first draft turned out pretty well is probably making me overconfident in the final version. Here's hoping for that elusive one-per-section A...

God, the burnout is really starting to kick in.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-19-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

“Can we prohibit people from building atomic bombs?...well, yeah, unless you have a REALLY aggressive view of the 2nd Amendment.”

Friday, March 16, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-16-07 - Spring Break Edition #2

One of the best from the Prof. Son of a Bitch Official Archives.

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

“If a Jehovah’s Witness comes to my door, do I infringe his free speech rights if I say ‘get the hell off my property, I don’t need to go to heaven’?"

Monday, March 12, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-12-07 - Spring Break Edition

Even though I am currently on a spring break hiatus from The War, I figured it would be good to post a little Prof. Son of a Bitch to keep the blog alive over the break.

Prof. Son of a Bitch: “What is the Declaration of Independence? it a constitution?”
Student: “it’s a declaration”
Prof.: “Yes, it has a different name, so it must be something different…what does it declare?”
Student: “um…independence”

Thursday, March 8, 2007

More Wasting Time...

Does He Look Like a Bitch?

Ahhh, Pulp Fiction, how we love thee.

Law School Can Die in a Fire

Phaedrus: The highlight of my spring break will be driving to City X to be told in person that i'm unemployable
Guy Fawkes: haha
Phaedrus: I may buy some new highlighters, that will be fun too
Guy Fawkes: that might just be a new low
Phaedrus: Hey, i've gone through my blue ones... if we're counting Good Student Points those are worth double
Guy Fawkes: two new lows back to back
Guy Fawkes: blog post time
Phaedrus: I know

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

The Small Joys of Law School

Direct quote from a career services e-mail sent out today:

"LSLA invites applications for four volunteer full time summer law clerk positions for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do legal work with poor people in Texas on Galveston Island.

Compensation: None. Applicants are expected to obtain a grant or scholarship from their law school or public interest foundation.

The successful applicant should possess: Sense of outrage at injustice;...willingness to work beyond confines of the normal business day when required to do so and to travel when necessary"

That certainly sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to me. I'm glad that someone is out there to give me the chance to work for free. Not only that, but I'm also glad I have to APPLY to work for free. In fact, that's why I came to law school. I took out thousands of dollars in loans and put myself through the ninth circle of hell so I could work for nothing. I have news for organizations that solicit law students to volunteer to help poor people: LAW STUDENTS ARE POOR PEOPLE.

I think I might make a good applicant because I possess a strong sense of outrage at injustice. For instance, I am outraged that competent, intelligent, personable law students can't get summer jobs because their classmates who already have pre-arranged jobs take on-campus interview slots "for practice." I am also outraged that my undergraduate degree and year of legal education will be put to excellent use over the summer...waiting tables. I am also willing to work beyond the confines of normal business hours; hell, I do it every day. In fact, I am quite accustomed to putting in serious overtime doing legal research, preparing for class, and making outlines. Indeed, I believe I am uniquely qualified for this position.

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-7-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

“The court has to get the record in every case, which means they had to look at the pornography, painful as it is…or have their law clerks do it. That’s probably why those bastards wanted to be clerks for the Supreme Court.”

Wasting Time...

Today has been an especially good day for wasting time during class, as we had an extra hour of Property to make up for cancelling class this Friday.

So far, I read a Canadian article about environmentally friendly sex:

Yes, Canada has the Internet...and they're writing about how to hug trees during sex

I'll bet you thought sex was already natural enough, you Humvee driving Bambi hater.

I also watched some oxen drink from a watering hole in Africa:

Wildlife Cam

What did you do to waste time during class today?

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-6-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

“The fact that the right to free speech comes first in the Bill of Rights suggests that the founders thought it was the most important. We pinko Commie liberals like that argument until we think about it a little bit…because guess what comes second?”

Monday, March 5, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 3-5-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

"Because the Supreme Court said it…it’s like those billboards. If God said it, I believe it. If the Supreme Court said it, I believe it. I probably don't agree with it in the last 20 years or so, but I damn sure believe it."

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Top 10 Names for the Law School Summer Hiring Process

1. Resume Roulette
2. "Diversity Initiative"
3. Spring Pledge Hazing
4. Smug Suit Convention
5. Interviews Matter More Than Gra...BWAHAHAHA
6. Bullshit
7. Arbitrary Corporate Fellatio
8. Return of the High School Resume Whores
9. A Modern Tragedy: The Rape of Overdeveloped Self-Esteem
10. The Wasteland