Monday, December 3, 2007

Yeah, I got it the first time.

Dear Law Firm Recruiting Co-ordinator,

I would like to thank you for your letter of October 12, 2007 congratulating me on my academic success and expressing your firm's poor fortune by not being able to offer me a position with your firm. I would like to thank you, as well, for your letter of November 9, 2007, again, wishing me success in my future endeavors and expressing your deep sorrow and the massive amounts of well qualified applicants like me to which you are unable to offer positions. If I did not get the point the first two times, I would like to thank you for your third letter of December 3, 2008, again, refusing to employ me this summer. I know that well qualified candidates like myself can be very persistent and likely have a sense of self-entitlement when it comes to submitting resumes to third-tier insurance defense firms, but your policy of taking "baby steps" and breaking the news to applicants with outstanding credentials gently and over a long period of time seems to be very effective in getting your point across. Programs which involve multiple steps (See generallyAlcoholics Anonymous) tend to have a life changing effect, and I am very proud that your recruitment has three stages of rejection: Step 1. Flat Out Rejection; Step 2. Again, Flat Out Rejection; Step. 3, Again, Flat Out Rejection Again. Over the past 6 years of my higher education, many inspiring professors have preached the magnitude of the written word and its power to evoke a response from mankind. I never would have imagined that 2 pages of a cover letter and resume on 24 lb. ivory bond paper created in a mail merge to 321 other law firms would inspire you to send me three different letters on three different dates. It really touches me to know that my single letter inspired you so. I thank you for that feeling, it is something that I could never attain from any other summer clerkship program.

As well, next time you have your secret backroom meeting with other law firm recruiters, I would very much appreciate it if you could discuss the importance of exercising discretion in your letters. While many students spend hours trying to figure out who was hired in their place, it tends to take away from in-class web surfing when you tell us which students you hired in your rejection letter. While you may take pride in telling students that you passed over hiring a student from a top-tier school to hire a student from a JuCo law school, we too take pride in knowing that we have been rejected from better firms.

1 comment:

Guy Fawkes said...

...and yet another firm comes through with some clutch epic failure.