Tuesday, October 28, 2008

First Strike

Preparing for launch with low-impact munitions:

That's part of the 1st Restatement of Conflicts: Torts, plus a manuscript from the Qin Dynasty. See, Work Related, I'm only trying to help the credit card companies study for finals! I'm also trying to help them get cheap Chinese food delivered from a restaurant that no longer exists.

Armed and ready for takeoff:

Successful first strike! Intel on actual damage unavailable, however:

The last image is intentionally a bit blurry to shield the raccoon's identity. I just couldn't bring myself to write "mask."

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Recruiting Volunteers: Stress Relief Through Absurdity and Humor

That last post might have been a bit premature. I'm working on a new photo-blogging series about anything that screws with big businesses in random ways.

First project:
1. collect Business Reply Mail envelopes from ANYwhere
2. Mail anything you want to get rid of back to the large corporation of your choice...assuming you can fit it into a standard envelope.
3. The entire point is to pin the cost of these mailings on these companies using the most ridiculous things you can dig out of your closet.
4. Write at least three standard English letters together and in sequence on something inside the envelope. For example, I might write "GF" on a piece of notebook paper that goes in the envelope.

Yes, it's been done before. Trillions of adolescents have probably used this as a subconscious tool for rebellion, all the while chuckling to themselves like weasels about how clever they were. While I am indeed chuckling like a weasel, I don't find it terribly clever anymore since I just gained a renewed interest in it via this quote from www.bash.org. Honestly, who gives a shit? I'm also going to call OUR rebellion "Driving Up the Cost of Sending Junk Mail: An Externality on YOU from the Minds of Idiots." I'm also naming the rebellion "I like random shit people do for no apparent reason, Or Would You Kindly Get a Sense of the Absurd."

My official title in the rebellion shall be "Grand Field Marshal Mail Ninja." I may be addressed as "Marshal," "Sir," or "Comrade." Or Guy Fawkes, whatever.

Anyone interested? Trust me, this can be an effective outlet for some of that school/work/family/life stress that's on most of us. Just forget who you are right now and do something ridiculous

Better yet, POST SOME OTHER "PROJECT" IDEAS. Just brain-dump some comments with absurd things you've always wanted to do in ANY context, legal or illegal. This includes stabbing me in the face over the Internet.

4. DO NOT MAIL/SHIP ANYTHING THAT COULD EVEN CONCEIVABLY BE DANGEROUS. This also means do not send any illegal materials, whether or not they are dangerous while in the package. Unlike the failed revolution in which Guy Fawkes participated, nothing from this fun little distraction should cause ANY type of destruction.

I'm not saying this just to cover my ass. I mean it, internet peoplez. The idea here is to have fun and mock the American financial system (economy in general?...whatever you want to mock...mock mock mock). No one gets physically injured or even put in harm's way for any reason. For some helpful info on what NOT to send, here are a couple of links:

USPS Info RE: Hazardous Materials

USPS Aviation Mail Guidelines

The Aviation Mail Guidelines also contain links to the most current USPS guidelines on most other safety areas. Also, if your mail goes out through a method other than USPS...make sure you AT LEAST follow the USPS Safety Guidelines and anything additional your carrier requires.

Gen. MacArthur as a 3L: Articulating A Departure from the Phillippines

I've lost my motivation to blog anything lately. I think the swing-and-miss with the kangaroo video finally broke my blogging will. I even have an extensive backlog of Prof. Tree Hugger quotes, including one in which we bantered about Jurassic Fight Club (the History Channel show) in classic 3L/apathetic prof. fashion. Phaedrus and I also played the primary roles in what has become known as "The Legend of the Horseman's Smashing Pumpkin" around our class.

Blogging here just isn't giving me the outlet I need anymore. Perhaps I will share more amusing anecdotes in the future, but I'm not going to personally try to keep The War alive. Such are the ways of the 3L.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Ironic, Coincidental, or Mean?

Taking a lesson from my favorite lexicographer, Bender Bending Rodriguez, I'm not sure if the following is ironic, coincidental, or just plain mean:

The firm that sent me my last small envelope of rejection is sponsoring my scholarship this year. Am I good enough to pay a scholarship for but not good enough to hire?

Hey I'm not complaining, I'll take the money. Just struck me as odd . . . .

Friday, October 10, 2008

Wireless Internet: How to Hack a Secure System

I am sitting on Phaedrus's couch as I write this post. I am on Phaedrus's laptop, through which he has been leeching Comcast broadband service for over one year. Here is an illustrative anecdote to explain the intelligence level of the average [school] football fan here:

Instructions for "hacking" into a wireless network in this city:

1. acquire a computer capable of detecting wireless connections
2. allow computer to automatically detect wireless connections within range
3. select wireless network entitled "WinorLoseWeBooze#1"
4. 1st attempted password: "default"
5. 2nd attempt: "admin"
6. 3rd attempt: "password"
7. slap self for lack of insight
4. remind self that this is a football school
5. remind self that 90% of fans at this school are hammered by 5 AM (even for night games) on gameday
6. remind self it is Saturday
7. remind self there is a rivalry game today, kickoff 6 PM
8. 4th attempt: "[wearepennstate]"
9, load homepage
10. impose externality on Comcast and their customers
11. cry self to sleep several hours later because someone with the common sense to lock a wireless connection made it that easy
12. realize that among other things, "hacking" is not the correct term because it implies a degree of difficulty that at approaches Candyland

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Need Advice: New Reading Material

Since 3Ls don't believe in class or reading, I am looking for some new non-fiction material. Just assume that "fiction" doesn't even exist. Additionally, my primary interests on point are anything about military stuff, anything political, anything on economics, and most academic/"objective"-type religion stuff. Anything historical on these topics adds appeal. There, I think I threw out enough terms to encompass most information that exists.

Top 3 so far:

1. any known Sun Tzu material (obviously translated, good translation recommendations would be nice)

2. Machiavelli

3. de Tocqueville

4. Ayn Rand pieces that are not mind-numbingly redundant (do they exist?)

Sometimes I think I should grow up and start living right

But it's not the liquor that I would miss...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Without commenting on who I'm voting for (b/c I honestly don't know yet), Obama just said something slightly alarming. The basic sentiment was that oil companies have a lot of land and he'd like to tell them to "use them or lose them." That sounds an awful like a step towards communism to me.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Off Market

I took a job. I'm officially off the market. So there goes what little motivation I had left. Any guesses as to what percentage of our class has something lined up? This market is terrible.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

French Humor, It Exists, Oui?

Admittedly, I have an unusually strong penchant for some odd types of humor. See, for example, the immediately preceding post. However, I think almost everyone can appreciate this legitimately epic gem that is currently making the rounds online. I would not post this if it wasn't worth watching all the way through. I have only come to tears from laughter roughly four times in my life, including about 10 minutes ago. All I will say is that it involves a "jackass kangaroo."

Consider how long it probably took these insane Frenchies to get some of the shots in the video. Hopping through at precisely the right time to steal fast food as it passes through the drive-through window? Few words can describe the brilliance of this absurdity.

Friday, October 3, 2008


I have gotten a total of one hour of sleep in the past 48 hours, yet I am wide awake with no signs of slowing down. Therefore, here is a cat-related picture:

Quick, someone fill in the logic between the two sentences above the pie-eating feline.