Wireless Internet: How to Hack a Secure System

I am sitting on Phaedrus's couch as I write this post. I am on Phaedrus's laptop, through which he has been leeching Comcast broadband service for over one year. Here is an illustrative anecdote to explain the intelligence level of the average [school] football fan here:

Instructions for "hacking" into a wireless network in this city:

1. acquire a computer capable of detecting wireless connections
2. allow computer to automatically detect wireless connections within range
3. select wireless network entitled "WinorLoseWeBooze#1"
4. 1st attempted password: "default"
5. 2nd attempt: "admin"
6. 3rd attempt: "password"
7. slap self for lack of insight
4. remind self that this is a football school
5. remind self that 90% of fans at this school are hammered by 5 AM (even for night games) on gameday
6. remind self it is Saturday
7. remind self there is a rivalry game today, kickoff 6 PM
8. 4th attempt: "[wearepennstate]"
9, load homepage
10. impose externality on Comcast and their customers
11. cry self to sleep several hours later because someone with the common sense to lock a wireless connection made it that easy
12. realize that among other things, "hacking" is not the correct term because it implies a degree of difficulty that at approaches Candyland