Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Sometimes Eloquence Doesn't Do Justice

Recently, The Alabama Legislature Blocked A Bill in Committee (proposed by an ultra conservative state senator) that would allow students and faculty to carry concealed weapons on campus. (Some people are confused by this whole 2d Amendment thing and are presuming the likely decision in District of Columbia v. Heller),

When asked about his position on the bill, University of Alabama President Robert Witt said it was somewhere between "adamantly opposed and hell no."

Prof. JDate

Prof. JDate:  [student], what do you think?
Student:  I sort of like contributory negligence.
Prof. JDate:  Why?  Do you hate me?

Later in today's class:

Prof. JDate:  She's a "shitty lawyer" according to the website.  Do you think she'll sue him to get an injunction to take that off the site?  No, you don't want to have to prove whether or not you're shitty.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Back Again

So much for the break.

Friday, March 14, 2008

The Best Thing to Come from Commie Russia Since Vodka

Leningrad Cowboys & Red Army Choir

Moot Court: Over

Well for everyone on this board, the moot court competition is over. I made the board but honestly I don't feel good about it. My partner didn't make it. I had a lot of friends who didn't make it. I had a lot who did, but I really feel like I left my partner down. I should have been able to revise his brief a little bit better. I mean you look at the list and you know how hard everyone worked on it and only 1 in 3 made it. Just not very satisfying.

I did get my ultimate wish. I'm on the board and I don't have to do it any more. Now to work on other things that have been hanging over my head, like outlining!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Two Days of Quotes

Yesterday, during an IM conversation with my girlfriend:

Me:  We're watching a Lifetime movie in Environmental Law.  A.  Lifetime.  Movie.
Girlfriend:  Fagbulous.
Girlfriend:  Oh god...that was a typo, but so appropriate.

Introducing Prof. JDate, my very Jewish Law and Econ professor (only called Prof. JDate because he's mentioned it several times, not because I'm antisemitic):

Prof. JDate:  "I can take my peanuts and my beer and have fun while the child drowns.  That's really OK under tort law.  In fact, we LIKE that part of tort law."

Monday, March 10, 2008

They oughta give me the Wurlitzer Prize

So this is an extremely stressful semester. I think I can say that even without outside problems it would be the most stressful semester of school I've ever had. Of course, there have been outside issues stemming from last semester's events. Delayed exams I haven't been able to take, bills, negotiations not for credit, etc.

If Nashville had any concept of moot court my life would be a country song.

So in honor of that sentiment, I'm posting my favorite tragedies with a twang. Great laments from classic country songs.

"I gave her a ring, she gave me the finger"
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
"Get Your Tongue Outta my mouth, cause I'm kissing you goodbye"
"Her teeth were stained, but her heart was pure"
"I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart"
"She got the goldmine, I got the shaft"
"You're the reason our kids are ugly"

And one just for Barbara Mandrell, my first love: You can eat crackers in my bed anytime.

I guess it isn't all bad. I'm very close to finding a place to stay for the first half of the summer!

Victory: I Have Seen The Others

I got this nice little email this morning:
I looked at the citation you were appealing and we were able to void that ticket.

I didn't even have to show up to an appeal. I essentially got it kicked on summary judgment.

How's that for sticking it to the man! Jack Thompson, eat your heart out.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Finally, a Good Day

After a week of hell dealing with my student comment and dead hard drive drama, today has been absolutely brilliant. I finished my student comment during my last class, and I think it has at least a slight chance of getting published. However, I'm not going to get my hopes up too much about this one. Just finishing the damn thing removes a HUGE weight from me that has been there since last August.

My girlfriend also landed a summer job. This relieves a lot of stress from both our lives. I am also ecstatic because she will be in this state within driving distance of me during the second half of the summer. This is what happens when you get used to spending every day together.

On top of those two amazing events, it is a beautiful day outside. Upper 60's, slight breeze, clear skies, birds chirping, the works.

Disaster is coming, I just know it.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Law School Took My Soul: They won't understand

I got a really stupid parking ticket at the student recreation center today. I quickly approached the ticket nazi and she said "I could see your decal it will be fine just appeal it." So I wrote my appeal and submitted it only. Come to find out, it is a student run board. Poor undergrads, they will have no clue what I'm arguing and will probably enforce the citation just because they think I'm a douche for making a valid argument. I might have to pull out the old school fraternity shirts that I haven't worn in 5 years to make my appeal. What if my ticket nazi isn't around? I doubt that she will be. I doubt I could get it tossed on Sixth Amendment grounds. Certainly, I could appeal it to a real court (kidding); these citations have to infringe upon interstate commerce... everything affects interstate commerce.

Here is what i filed with the parking authority:

I was given a citation for "Improper Affix Permit" with the comment "Permit behind law school decal." I appeal because my decal was displayed within the guidelines provided by the school. The rules state "18.Failure to display a current parking permit while on campus will result in the issuance of a parking citation. All charges, including tow charges and the purchase of current permit will be assessed before the vehicle is released." I was displaying a valid and current parking permit (the law school decal and commuter decal). The law school decal was hanging from the rearview mirror face out facing the windshield (as is often necessary to access the law school parking lot). Furthermore, the law school decal is a valid, unique (it has a parking number), and official parking decal (it must be given by the law school registrar). The law school decal is only issued to currently enrolled law students who have purchased a regular commuter decal. Law school parking is only available at the law school in connection with a commuter parking decal. Therefore, the law school decal directly establishes that the owner is a SE Commuter. Behind the law school decal was my commuter parking decal, which was "face out" facing the rear of the car (as is often necessary to access the law school parking lot) so that all identifying information was easily visible to the proper official. The only other regulation listed (and notable not within the "Parking and Traffic Rules" section) is that "Failure to display a current parking permit while on campus will result in the issuance of a parking citation. All charges, including tow charges and the purchase of current permit will be assessed before the vehicle is released." As noted supra, I was in compliance with this regulation as well. Both decals were hanging from the rearview mirror and were face out respectively. I had my decals properly affixed to the guidelines. This citation was invalidly operated. The guidelines as applied should be void for vagueness and ambiguity.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Computer Monster Strikes Again

My student comment is due to my faculty advisor by Friday. I was almost finished with it. In fact, I had only part of a case discussion, some analysis, and the final polishing left to do.

Approximately 30 minutes ago, my Macbook had a fairly routine Safari (internet browser) freeze-up. It has now stopped detecting the hard drive and I am unable to retrieve any of my files. I last backed up my comment two days ago and have not backed up any of my other documents from this semester. Even better, my Mac is just slightly over the 90-day technical support window.

You people probably wonder why I think law school is out to get me.

Update: The hard drive in my 4-month-old Macbook simply died from mechanical failure for no good reason. Since Apple's warranty is so generous, the data is only recoverable if I am willing to take the hard drive to a private data recovery service and pay the bill myself. On the bright side, they had my particular hard drive in stock at the Apple store, so I again have a functioning laptop. I am contemplating never purchasing another Apple product.

This is the third time in roughly six months that a computer has died on me for one reason or another.

Monday, March 3, 2008

It doesn't have to be like this

I went to Kentucky the other weekend to be in a friend's wedding. His sister was a 1L at UK and some people were asking us about law school. They were asking how hard the school work is in law school. I found myself explaining time and again that law school really isn't that hard. By that I mean, the classes aren't that hard. Make a good faith effort at reading and take good notes and you can get your B to A- and move on with your life. Take good notes and barely read and you can get a C to B and become a lawyer in three years anyway. Even here, you have a choice, it doesn't have to be hard to get through law school.

Let's say you decide to make a good faith effort at this law school thing. If you're smart, you can leave it alone, work 30 hours a week including actual going to class, and finish somewhere in the top 30%. [channeling John Belushi here] But noooooo.

If you get that high, odds are, you're an overachiever anyway. You want to be somebody. That's why you went to law school right? Oh yeah, that and the obligatory "making a difference in the world" thing. So what do you do?

You spend 80 hours over your summer break after your 9-5 clerkship writing a note for the hope that you will get selected for the "prestigious" honor of law review.

You then spend 4-5 more hours a week on average doing menial work for the law review so that some professor can publish an article that maybe the 10 other professorts in their specialty will read. This time can stretch as high as 15-20 hours if the professor who sent the article is well known enough in the field to send in a half done article and get published anyway.

If you are really a sucker, you can get bonus points for trying out for a minimal position on managing board which ups your work without really helping your resume like Phaedrus and myself.

You then try out for trial ad. Now if you don't try out, you have several hours of easy pass/fail trial ad classes ahead of you. If you do try out you get a minimum number of hours to audition for the chance to work your ass off.

Then comes moot court. If you try out for all three it is the sucker trifecta! You can spend hours upon hours writing and revising a brief that they won't give you the grade on and spend more hours preparing for oral arguments for which you recieve scores that absent a standard are meaningless.

All in all I think I've spent more time on "prestigious" extra curriculars in law school than on actual classes. Which brings me back to El Guapo's first rule of law school: If they say its prestigious, RUN!

Why can't I follow rule #1?

All this is to say kiddies, becoming a lawyer is easy. Turning off the switch to the ambition that made you want to be a lawyer is hard.