Monday, August 27, 2007

Prof. Hair Club - The First Installment

Prof. Hair Club teaches my Administrative Law class. He is a self-proclaimed cynic from Mississippi, yet he lacks the Southern accent and crotchety demeanor one might expect from an individual fitting that description. He also lacks a substantial portion of the hair on his head, hence the nickname. El Guapo, one of our classmates and a regular blog commenter, also noted that Prof. Hair Club talks in similar fashion to John Moschitta Jr. For the uninitiated out there, John Moschitta Jr. is this guy, more commonly known as the Micro Machines guy or Blurr from the original Transformers:

Prof. Hair Club isn't quite Prof. Son of a Bitch in terms of quote volume, but perhaps I can manage a post now and then. Today's gem:

“You can look down into the dark abyss of cynicism, and I’ll be looking back up at you, waving and smiling.”

On another note, I saw a 1L female wearing a Michael Vick jersey at school today. That takes some major balls/ovaries right about now.

Friday, August 10, 2007


Apparently solid GPA + law review + best paper in legal writing/moot court doesn't cut it for 27/28 firms interviewing during the first week of OCI. Top 15% + law review + law firm experience only cuts it for 3/28.

Oh well, there's always the other 8 weeks.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Too Good Not to Post

"Little hippie chick" beats the shit out of karaoke singer, cops

Oh dear god, please let us see something like this at the bars this weekend.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Law Dungeon Release Date

My girlfriend and I were both slated to work in the library this fall semester, even though I never actually promised the resident Circulation Desk Lady that I would stick around. Since the girl is from out of state and I attended my law school's rival institution for undergrad, we aren't particularly big fans of our current school's football team. Circulation Desk Lady apparently took this to mean that at least one of us would be available to work during every home football game this season, even though there are approximately 8721098345 other circulation desk employees. What's worse, the home schedule is REALLY good this season, particularly with a new coach on board (read: a lot of friends/family coming from out of town).

Apparently Circulation Desk Lady is under the impression that students go to college football games for the express purpose of watching a football game. This is the same woman who once made an offhand comment about how "college kids these days think they can just go out and get drunk on Thursday because they think it's part of the weekend." She works at the law library and clearly has no idea about law school culture. Many of us in the stands aren't technically aware that we're AT a football game. We're often doing well to remember our own names on game weekends.

Today, I informed our Circulation Desk Lady that I won't be continuing work in the library for the fall term. I have trouble calling her my "boss" for all sorts of reasons I won't mention. In any case, she was not amused. She didn't really get upset with me on a personal level, but she did express some annoyance at the prospect of having to find a replacement.

Approximately two hours after informing Circulation Desk Lady of my decision, the library director (a very cool guy actually) sent out the following e-mail:

"If you're looking for gainful employment, the Library has an opening for a student desk assistant who is willing to work during football games during the fall semester. Please contact Circulation Desk Lady if you're interested.
Thanks, and welcome back."

I immediately spotted two glaring mistakes in the e-mail and anticipated their effects:

1. "welcome back": This phrase reminds students that the fall term begins very soon. It does not inspire positive emotions in any potential employee. Most e-mail recipients probably did not reach this point in the e-mail because of the second mistake. 60% of those who read this phrase groaned, rolled their eyes, and headed out to happy hour in an attempt to forget that they're in law school.

2. "who is willing to work during football games": This phrase caused 95% of the recipients to double over with laughter before permanently deleting the e-mail without further consideration. At least 50% of all recipients proceeded to format their hard drives to ensure that this phrase never appears in their inbox again.

Here is how he should have drafted the e-mail:

"If you're looking for gainful employment, the Library has an opening for a student desk assistant. The position mostly involves sitting around at the desk while bored to holy hell, which means that you can get paid to spend time studying, checking your e-mail, and playing Flash games on the Internet. We can work around your fall schedule, including football games. Please contact Circulation Desk Lady if you're interested.

Remember that there are still WEEKS of summer left before school starts again! Thanks."