Monday, April 23, 2007

What Does the Constitution Say About Nicknames?

El Guapo and I have been working on a comprehensive nickname list for our section. This is one of those things I feel like we should have done last semester, but oh well. Here are the nicknames, sans real names of course:

Above the Neck
Second Career
El Guapo
The Line
Nose Gunner
Type A
Take Me Home
The Senator
Marginal Utility
Not in the Constitution

It's a work in progress. We're trying to keep the names civil, but I must admit that it's been tempting to use "Stupid Fucking Question" and "Cock Weasel." I was never this mean before law school.

Hand-Talkers Get Carpal Tunnel

IM conversation re: Prof. Son of a Bitch:

El Guapo: is that a magnetic power bracelet on his arm
El Guapo: or some medicalert bling?
Guy Fawkes: no, it's definitely a magnetic bracelet
Guy Fawkes: didn't even notice that until you pointed it out
El Guapo: I wonder if it messes up his Wal-mart wristwatch and that's why we always leave at 11:55
Guy Fawkes: nice

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 4-23-07

"I doubt there’s going to be much interest in con law for the next couple of weeks considering you guys have three other exams to take. I’m getting the hell out of town. Life sucks and then you die.”

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 4-19-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

"Sometimes those Supreme Court appointees don't turn out the way they're supposed to. Like Justice Kennedy, who was supposed to make the court more conservative. Presidents get really pissed off when this happens. You just can't trust the bastards."

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 4-18-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

Sarcastically pouting: "I would have made it all make sense for you if they would let me be on the Supreme Court, but they didn’t want to. Oh, hell, I'm only 68 years old. There's still time."

Monday, April 16, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 4-16-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

“It’s a terrible thing, reading the damn Constitution. What a terrible way to interpret constitutional law.”

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

This is an Oral Exam - That's What She Said

Our second semester Legal Writing class is also known as "moot court" for a reason. We turned in two drafts of an appellate brief and are now preparing to do oral arguments in front of a panel of 3L's. I suppose this is fairly standard for most law schools, but they have removed all motivation for us to put forth any effort on this whatsoever.

1. It's graded on a high pass/pass/low pass/fail basis. A high pass gets you a grand total of 1% bonus on the final grade in the class.
2. The professors told us that they have NEVER given anything below a pass (read: full credit) to anyone in 10 years.
3. In the words of a 2L, you pretty much "have to piss on yourself" to fail.
4. Finals. Are. In. Two. Weeks.

They also felt the need to explain to us that the language one uses when arguing before an appellate court should be more formal than everyday conversation. "This is, like, not Bill & Ted's Excellent Oral Argument." Indeed.

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 4-11-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

"I’m not an interstate bigot. I’m not even an Alabama bigot. I’m just a Birmingham bigot, and therefore, Congress can’t regulate me.”

Monday, April 9, 2007

Help, Scalia's Disciples Are Teaching At My School

A certain federal circuit court of appeals judge is teaching a Federal Jurisdiction class at 8:15 on Mondays and Wednesdays next semester. Surprisingly (or not so if you think about it), this class did not fill up within 5 minutes for a few reasons.

1. It's at 8:15 AM. That's a good 2.5 hours before most of us are ready to be in class.
2. Most of the top ranked people in the class (not to be confused with most intelligent) are taking it, so the curve will probably be very high.
3. Who wants to take a class from the guy who will probably be the most hardcore professor at the law school next term, even surpassing our famous state-judge-turned-professor who once gave a convicted murderer 10,000 years in prison just to make a point?

I can just imagine walking into this guy's class at 8:20. "Mr. Guy Fawkes, it's very unprofessional to waste the court's, I mean the class's time by being late. I'm going to dock you half a letter grade under FRCP Rule 11 for having a dilatory motive in your attendance habits." No, thank you.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 4-6-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:
“There are enough Baptists left in Texas so that they won’t pass a lottery or allow casinos. Casinos in Baton Rouge are just stealing from our own people. I’m fine with them in Shreveport because then we’re stealing from Texans too. And they have too much damn money, so let them give us some of it.”

I think being from Louisiana gives this guy some kind of inferiority complex about Texas.

On another note, the blogger itself has been something of a bitch lately. I have been completely unable to sign in for the last few days, hence the lack of posting.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Prof. Son of a Bitch Daily, 4-4-07

Prof. Son of a Bitch:

“What do you think they were going to do with those chickens once they got to New York? Keep them there? Play with them?, they were pretty much going to slaughter them.”