Thursday, September 18, 2008

Google Search of the Day - 9/18/08

Today's gem is straight out of Saskatchewan. At least I hope so.

"fuck the lsat for yale forestry school"

I barely even know where to begin with this one. First, I will apologize in advance for making fun of Yale Forestry School and forestry schools in general without shame. My first inclination was to mercilessly deride it for even conjuring up a concept such as the Yale Forestry School. Surely, something like this could never exist. However, a quick Google search revealed that there actually IS a Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Sciences, somewhat odd though it seems. Additionally, one of the school's banner projects is Sex and Suburban Frogs (frogs fuck, who knew), which I thought was a little racy for the front page until I discovered that it's about Jurassic Park-style amphibian gender changes in the wild. Go figure. I would look like a real fool to make fun of a search string for referencing a REAL school that I thought was fake. I can just smell the irony that didn't happen.

Since the first instinct didn't work out, my second thought would have to serve the appropriate purpose. Any search term involving some iteration of "fuck the lsat" has potential for amusement, and this one does not disappoint. Apparently this person (people?...several hits from this search) thinks it would be a good idea to blow off the LSAT so that he can attend *drum rollllllllllllll* forestry school. I don't care if it IS Yale, for what that's really worth anyway. Who the hell ever introduced himself in a conversation by saying, "Hi, I'm Sam, I go to Yale Forestry." What? I'm not even sure I understand what I just wrote.

Unless you genuinely want to be some sort of environmental crusader with Ivy League credentials to back it up, why would you do this to yourself? People would ENDlessly mock you, starting with this guy right here. "You're in what program? Where? Really? You're serious aren't you. Wait, seriously? Why? Does that...pay? Can you become a park ranger with that degree? Ever run into Ranger Rick? Man, I used to love Ranger Rick magazines as a kid. Such a cute, fuzzy raccoon." Just think, your entire social life would sound just like that. Disbelief and Ranger Rick.

Another implication of this search is that the person is going to Yale Forestry SPECIFICALLY to "fuck the lsat." Either that, or the plain language means he's fucking the LSAT on behalf of Yale Forestry, which is an even more interesting concept. Anyway, the only thing this tree-planting, cheery subhuman creature will be fucking at Yale Forestry is a bucket full of burning pine cones. If I had to guess, the last time Yale Forestry had an attractive female student was 1759, when the rumblings of revolution were about. I welcome any current YF female students or recent alums who think they are attractive to post bikini photos. It's a risky move, but I'm on a mission here.

Also, if you think Yale Forestry is a better option than taking the LSAT and going to law school...well, you might be right. That's a tough call, though. Three years of being terrified, worked to death, and bored vs. however many years it takes to finish YF, the trees everywhere, dealing with Ranger Rick jokes and the like, presenting forest fire prevention speeches to schoolchildren, picking aphids off plants, etc. It's hard to say, but you might be better off getting fake boobs to get a job like one of our previous searchers. Even if you're a man.

2 comments:

Work Related said...

strong entry. if you think yale forestry is weak, check out this:

http://www.gsd.harvard.edu/academic/la/

Guy Fawkes said...

Sweet. I'll write another entry about Harvard Landscape Architecture if you can craft a google search with it to hit this site. I would start with "fuck the lsat for harvard landscape architecture."

Note: I don't actually know anything about Yale Forestry, so it could be a brilliant department for all I know. But come on...it's such an easy target for one of these posts, especially given the search term.