I'm Ready for School to Start

It's not that I'm tired of my job or dislike it, it's just that I miss my post lunch naps.

Google Search of the Day - 7/24/08

After several days without one of these posts, I ran across a brand new search string that has led to hits on our blog several times lately. This one was not in the list the last time I checked a few days ago, so it has resulted in 11 hits in a relatively short period of time.

Google search of the day:

"i seriously got a biglaw job offer because of my breast implants"

I could not make this shit up. Congratulations. You are a whore in every sense of the word. You are the reason men are convinced that attractive women take a significant portion of biglaw jobs simply because they are attractive females. You are the reason hot girls in the bottom 5% of the class are still seen interviewing for the most lucrative associate positions and prestigious clerkships with horny old judges. You use your newly perky and unnaturally large double-Ds on your 110-pound frame to game your way into the legal market like other people use a resume and cover letter. You don't see anything wrong with using the body god (and your plastic surgeon) gave you to your professional advantage. Soon, you will sleep your way to partner at your new firm in record time. I hope you enjoy throwing your ankles into the air while old guys put it in you and motorboat those implants. At least have the decency to get on top. That's the whole point of breast implants anyway, right?

All of that is not to say that I find women with breast implants attractive. On the contrary, I prefer the boobies on my women to be natural rather than fake, rigid, and pointed.

Breakdown

So I almost melted down in Barnes and Noble. I've been looking for a copy of Garner and Scalia's book, Making Your Case: The Art of Persuading Judges for quite some time. They don't carry it in regular stores or in our law school's crappy bookstore. Well yesterday I saw they had it in stock at a local Barnes and Noble. They've never had it in stock anywhere nearby so I went today. Apparently it was on hold when it arrived in the store and gone by the time I arrived. I started to go off on how they could not have a legal writing book in the top 400 selling books on Amazon on the shelf ever. I was seriously this close to having a meltdown when I realized what a nerd I was. I ordered it online instead.

No matter what you think about Antonin Scalia, the boy can write. Bryan Garner is the man. Anyone in law school who has not read Legal Writing in Plain English should do so immediately. It will change the way you write and edit your work.

And before I get "judged" by my favorite law school grammar nazi who reads this blog, just know I am more relaxed in my blog writing than my brief writing.

Reward

So I got done with the monster project I've been working on for almost a month. As a reward, I get to summarize a trial transcript. It fills a box. I know this is part of the practice of law but wow is it dull. I'm waiting to get to the juicy portion of the trial. I hope I find it in the next two weeks before I leave.

Overheard in the Office - 7/22/08

Overheard in the basement computer lab eight of the AG's office clerks have invaded:

Church of Christ Clerk: "How many Church of Christ members does it take to change a light bulb?...Light bulbs aren't mentioned in the New Testament and thus should not be incorporated into contemporary worship services."

Church of Christ Clerk: "How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?"
Southern Baptist Clerk: "You have to form a committee first."
Church of Christ Clerk: "...change?...huh?"

2008-09 Law Review Schwag

Law Review t-shirts are often a subject on this blog. Most notably for their effect on intoxicated undergraduate women. So without further ado, I present the 2008-09 Law Review T-Shirt:

As you can see, this year's model reflects seniority. Also, in accord (get it?) with the third-year lifestyle, this year's design will include a beer koozie:

FRONT:

BACK:

What...the...Hell

This is a real item on Overstock.com. Link here.

No Freakin' Way!

So this just in. Heller. Yes that Heller. The man who appealled his right to own guns all the way to the Supreme Court and won. The man who inspired a moot court problem that ate away the better part of three months of my life. The man who changed the Constitution by allowing the Supreme Court to say the right to bear arms belongs to individuals will not be allowed to register his gun in the District of Columbia.

Seems it was a machine gun.

Story here.

Story about a similar challenge arising out of Illinois here.

Always Something Good in The Economist

From The Economist, "What a way to run the world," July 3, 2008 print edition:

"Faced with the need to reform international institutions, the rich world—and America in particular—has a choice. Cling to power, and China and India will form their own clubs, focused on their own interests and problems. Cede power and bind them in, and interests and problems are shared. Now that would be a decent way to run a world."

Law Overload

I've been around so many lawyers lately you'd think I had tobacco juice leaking out of my breast implants.

- Jimmy James, Newsradio