1L YaYas are Starting to Annoy Me...Really

Congratulations, you survived first semester. It was a traumatic experience... I remember. Then again, I slacked off, partied ostentatiously before exams (still do) and still kicked ass. That's just what I do. So you didn't do as well as you wanted? Well, really you should have taken my advice ("know it all and you'll be fine, works every time").

So what are 1Ls doing? They're being little bitches.

As far as I know, they are going out and buying a pair of jeans and wearing them and having life changing experiences and then mailing them to their other 1L friends to do the same. There is this whole YaYa sisterhood going on with the 1Ls. They have formed these really annoying, pathetic, and vain support groups. "It's okay, I did poorly too...but, we're going to study together in the law school atrium, then starbucks, and then at Phaedrus's table. We're going to work hard, struggle, achieve, persevere and we're going to raise our GPA & Classrank and then make law review, then work at biglaw, and then work 40 hours a week and retire early." Well, at least the GPA thing. I can't figure out why this annoys me so, other than it is completely pathetic. It's childish. It's futile. It's taking away my study table. It's really just a lame excuse for the friend who really needs a boyfriend to feel better about herself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about goals: setting them, achieving them, exceeding them. Just don't take my table. Get a life, watch Grey's Anatomy together like most normal girls, go buy new nike running shorts that never get used for running, or even (Gasp) try to go on a date. Despite the feel good talk professors give you this time of the year about grades, grades are pretty much locked in. First you are graded on a curve--it really puts you in your place. While there is usually an exception or two, this is usually an exception or two--it's not Good Will Hunting. Even if you come to school, clean the floors, think you're smarter than everyone else, and do complex math/legal problems on the board, you're probably not the exception. Second, people at the top of the class are usually smarter than you. What does this mean? It means they know better than to take graded classes. The whole art of law school is taking 75% ungraded classes and 25% guaranteed A's... this locks in your GPA and Class rank.

Long story short, the Law School Traveling Pants YaYa Studygroup Sisterhood should get a life, a boyfriend, or disband. I don't really care, just do one.

Victory: I Have Seen The Others

I got this nice little email this morning:

I looked at the citation you were appealing and we were able to void that ticket.

I didn't even have to show up to an appeal. I essentially got it kicked on summary judgment.

How's that for sticking it to the man! Jack Thompson, eat your heart out.

All Politics is Local

If there is one thing law school has done, it has given me a distaste for politics. For example, Huckabee and Obama both made a recent campaign stop in my state. A student looking to carpool to the event sent out an email and a quick description of Huckabee as "former Arkansas governor and all-around good ol' boy." (Please note that this email came from our resident foreign named yankee who wears red cowboy boots who wouldn't know Jim Crow if he were having grits with him at a cafe counter- this is neither a criticism or defense of that person, rather it is context) Immediately, as if HuckabeeSupporter had dropped the "You People"-Bomb, another student of African American sent out an email saying "Please explain what good ol boy means." Oh snap!

All of this is to demonstrate the point that politics comes down to voting to the person most like you: look at the polls Women for Clinton, Blacks for Obama, and Good Ole Boys for Huck.

A buddy of mine and I were mourning the departure of our two individual candidates from the Presidential race earlier this week when out of nowhere a fellow student took offense when she overheard that I strongly supported Edwards. This student, who I did not know, approached me and shouted "Vote Obama or Die, Don't be racist vote for Obama!"

I intervene the story for more context: I've got a very multi-cultural friend base. If you were to look at the picture of my group of friends (when we are all together and home for the summer) we are stereotypically diverse enough to be in a high school text book- except we are still trying to recruit the Hispanic in a wheelchair. The point is, despite all presumptions about me due to my Southern Heritage, race is not a major issue to me in politics; especially when I am left without a candidate to support and would likely swing to anyone who took on some major issue which I feel strongly about.

I asked the rude student why that student supported Obama. The student replied with the television buzz word "Change." Upon further prodding, I could not get a substantiated reason as to why that student supported Obama- yet, I was the one presumed to base my electoral decision on race. My retort was, "When is Obama going to acknowledge the Sudanese crisis?" I then asked the student if that student or anyone the student knew had made any affirmative statement/action on Darfur (petition, WWJD-esque bracelet, t-shirt, rally, attend a lecture, anything). The student replied, "What's Darfur?"

It was exactly then that I realized every Darfur activist I know is white. Where is the NAACP or Al Sharpton on the Save Darfur Board of Directors? When will Black America step up in the activist efforts to save Darfur?

The Disclaimer Required since I am an Anglo American Protestant Male: I am in no way making a derogatory statement toward any group. I am, merely, engaging in an intellectual, thoughtful, open-minded, and embracing discussion in an effort to help a people to which I have no connection other than compassion.

And if you are curious, my other issue: Stem cell research. What happened to it? Why is it no longer at the forefront of the presidential debates?

Example No. 143 of Why I Have Been In Law School Too Long

Me to a 1L: "A mail merge is a beautiful thing."

Lunchtime Randomness

I was returning to school from lunch with Phaedrus and another friend, the source of this epic advice and a future blog contributor, when we saw something that made all three of us burst into laughter simultaneously. As we were driving through the law school parking lot searching for a space, we looked down one of the aisles and saw what appeared to be an ass and legs trying to get a baby out of a stroller and into a car. Apparently the ass and legs also had a torso (and in all fairness, a head), as the girl stood up a moment later. This girl was bending over the stroller and wearing some of the shortest shorts I've ever seen. It turned out to be some young Asian hooke...woman. We'll go with woman. I think Phaedrus chimed in with a "me love you long time" line, and we all lost it, tasteless (and timeless) as the humor may be. I circled back around for a second look, but we couldn't stop laughing.

By the time we got out of the car, she was backing out of her parking space. I'm fairly sure she saw us cracking up because she drove away from the exit and toward us at first.

Actual image of what we saw, sans stroller and baby:

Undergrads in the Library

Phaedrus: i've got to figure out how i can find out her name

Phaedrus: i might go pretend i lost something, and act like i left it with the morning girl and try to remember her name

Phaedrus: i mean, there's a reason cute undergrads work in the library here

Guy Fawkes: clearly it's to meet eligible 2L's

Phaedrus: heck yeah it is
Phaedrus: i'd date this one

Phaedrus: she's up to my sober standards

Phaedrus: but speaking of getting fucked

Phaedrus: i've got to go interview

We are such law students. Phaedrus is of the "that guy" variety.