"Off Week" from Law Review

To do list (so far) for this 4 day week:

Law Review:
1. pick up state case law assignment for law review
2. do state case law assignment
3. think of a good law review note topic
4. figure out which professors to harass about being my faculty sponsor for the note
5. harass professor(s) about being my sponsor
6. write note topic memo

School/job-related:
1. read for Prof. Hair Club's Admin Law class
2. read 872109834 pages for Local Gov't Law since I'm definitely on call
3. make it to the local police department to get fingerprinted for the bar association - just received notice that the ones I sent back in February weren't good enough
4. interviews Thursday and Friday
5. revise resume and cover letters
6. blanket firms all over the state w/ revised documents from #5
7. meet with career services person re: on whom I have to perform oral sex to get a job for next summer

Random:
1. pay rent since the office was closed for Labor Day from Sept. 1-3, leaving a one day window to pay rent on time
2. list football tickets on eBay (going to do during class)
3. figure out all the random stuff I need from Target (also a class activity)
4. go to Target
5. get a haircut before interviews
6. figure out why my desktop PC still isn't working even though I rebuilt it last night (probably a dead or dying hard drive) - fix if possible
7. figure out why other two BRAND NEW hard drives never worked with the old motherboard and still aren't registering on the new one
8. order new hard drive(s) or RMA the dead-on-arrival pieces of crap depending on what I figure out (read: more money)

Done:
1. make blog post bitching about having too much random shit to do

Update:
Thank god, at least the primary hard drive still works. I even managed to reinstall Windows without destroying all the files I had neglected to back up. Hooray.

Prof. Hair Club - The First Installment

Prof. Hair Club teaches my Administrative Law class. He is a self-proclaimed cynic from Mississippi, yet he lacks the Southern accent and crotchety demeanor one might expect from an individual fitting that description. He also lacks a substantial portion of the hair on his head, hence the nickname. El Guapo, one of our classmates and a regular blog commenter, also noted that Prof. Hair Club talks in similar fashion to John Moschitta Jr. For the uninitiated out there, John Moschitta Jr. is this guy, more commonly known as the Micro Machines guy or Blurr from the original Transformers:



Prof. Hair Club isn't quite Prof. Son of a Bitch in terms of quote volume, but perhaps I can manage a post now and then. Today's gem:

“You can look down into the dark abyss of cynicism, and I’ll be looking back up at you, waving and smiling.”

On another note, I saw a 1L female wearing a Michael Vick jersey at school today. That takes some major balls/ovaries right about now.

OCI - HOLY FUCKING SHIT, Here We Go Again

Apparently solid GPA + law review + best paper in legal writing/moot court doesn't cut it for 27/28 firms interviewing during the first week of OCI. Top 15% + law review + law firm experience only cuts it for 3/28.

Oh well, there's always the other 8 weeks.

Too Good Not to Post

"Little hippie chick" beats the shit out of karaoke singer, cops

Oh dear god, please let us see something like this at the bars this weekend.

Law Dungeon Release Date

My girlfriend and I were both slated to work in the library this fall semester, even though I never actually promised the resident Circulation Desk Lady that I would stick around. Since the girl is from out of state and I attended my law school's rival institution for undergrad, we aren't particularly big fans of our current school's football team. Circulation Desk Lady apparently took this to mean that at least one of us would be available to work during every home football game this season, even though there are approximately 8721098345 other circulation desk employees. What's worse, the home schedule is REALLY good this season, particularly with a new coach on board (read: a lot of friends/family coming from out of town).

Apparently Circulation Desk Lady is under the impression that students go to college football games for the express purpose of watching a football game. This is the same woman who once made an offhand comment about how "college kids these days think they can just go out and get drunk on Thursday because they think it's part of the weekend." She works at the law library and clearly has no idea about law school culture. Many of us in the stands aren't technically aware that we're AT a football game. We're often doing well to remember our own names on game weekends.

Today, I informed our Circulation Desk Lady that I won't be continuing work in the library for the fall term. I have trouble calling her my "boss" for all sorts of reasons I won't mention. In any case, she was not amused. She didn't really get upset with me on a personal level, but she did express some annoyance at the prospect of having to find a replacement.

Approximately two hours after informing Circulation Desk Lady of my decision, the library director (a very cool guy actually) sent out the following e-mail:

"If you're looking for gainful employment, the Library has an opening for a student desk assistant who is willing to work during football games during the fall semester. Please contact Circulation Desk Lady if you're interested.

Thanks, and welcome back."

I immediately spotted two glaring mistakes in the e-mail and anticipated their effects:

1. "welcome back": This phrase reminds students that the fall term begins very soon. It does not inspire positive emotions in any potential employee. Most e-mail recipients probably did not reach this point in the e-mail because of the second mistake. 60% of those who read this phrase groaned, rolled their eyes, and headed out to happy hour in an attempt to forget that they're in law school.

2. "who is willing to work during football games": This phrase caused 95% of the recipients to double over with laughter before permanently deleting the e-mail without further consideration. At least 50% of all recipients proceeded to format their hard drives to ensure that this phrase never appears in their inbox again.

Here is how he should have drafted the e-mail:

"If you're looking for gainful employment, the Library has an opening for a student desk assistant. The position mostly involves sitting around at the desk while bored to holy hell, which means that you can get paid to spend time studying, checking your e-mail, and playing Flash games on the Internet. We can work around your fall schedule, including football games. Please contact Circulation Desk Lady if you're interested.

Remember that there are still WEEKS of summer left before school starts again! Thanks."

Foreshadowing

This is how I feel right now:


...except I'm in the law dunge...I mean library. If everything I've heard about second year is true, then this could become a familiar scene.

In other news, Phaedrus is transferring to my school this fall. He's already developing his "Hit List" (as in "want to hit that list"), as well as a strategy for picking up freshmen in case the list comes up short. So far we've decided that he could probably get away with standing outside the local Fratty McFratterson Pseudo-Dive Bar with a large net and a stun gun around 3 AM on Saturday mornings since the bars don't have to close by a particular time. He'll wear a specially-crafted Law Review Polo Shirt (capitalized for emphasis) and use the "hey, weren't you in my torts class?" line. It's foolproof, don't you think?

Something In Law School Turned Out OK...No, Really

Apparently Phaedrus and I submitted papers/Bluebook exams that at least made the top 60%-ish of the law review write-on competition (read: we made law review). We're excited for now, but we'll probably be even more bitter than usual when submission deadlines are approaching.

For now...hell yeah. Here's a celebratory LOLcat:

Bar Exam Cats

In honor of this week's bar exam, I'm going to start posting cat pictures. From this point forward, I will be looking for any possible excuse to post more cat pictures, particularly those with a legal theme. Do not try to stop me.

To the Law Review Write-On...

...here's what I have to say:

Schadenfreude Strikes Again

From a comment on another blog (click here for many colorful law-bloggy comments)

"I hope you avaricious, credential-obsessed schmucks go all lord of the flies on each other, because I’m less of a man than I wish to be and I can’t help the schadenfreude."

In my capacity as a 2L at an upper second-tier school, I hereby join this opinion in full.

Hi Bob.