Thursday, May 24, 2007

All Quiet on the Law Dungeon Front

I must apologize to our four readers (including myself) for the lack of blogging lately. There was a six day span beginning last week and continuing through this past Tuesday during which I didn't have a damn thing to do. No class, no work, no required reading, no girlfriend or friends in town who were available to do anything. The only thing to do has been to worry about grades and try to forget that I'm in law school. It was the first genuine break I've had pretty much since last August. Condolences go out to those who started summer jobs the Monday after finishing finals on the previous Thursday. I would love to have a real job with substantial pay and things to do, but the break was nice as well.

So I've been back in the library at 7:30 AM both yesterday morning and this morning. I don't really mind being on this schedule, but damn if it isn't more difficult to wake up at 6:30 AM than 9:00 AM even if I get the same amount of sleep. I'm also not sure why this feels like a different schedule than usual since my section had class at 8 AM four days per week last term. The mysteries of law school continue.

I would berate my fellow blog contributor for his lack of recent posts, but I think he's stuck working what he claims are 12 hour days for a firm close to home. It's hard to envy someone's job when he's the only clerk at a (relatively) small litigation firm. This position seems like it would be analogous to being an effeminate florist with small features who gets sent to a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison for sexually abusing his 7 year-old niece. Haha, just kidding...those guys get sent to STATE pound-me-in-the-ass prisons. Enjoy, Phaedrus.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Stomach is Rumbling

Yes...that is all. Perhaps eating breakfast 5+ hours before the anticipated lunch break wasn't such a good idea.

Expect more useless posts like this as the boredom gets progressively worse throughout the day.

Well...So It's Summer

The end of first year arrived with the proverbial drunken revelry, but it has departed in a boring and somewhat sober fashion. Everyone is gone for one reason or another. Most people are working for law firms in various cities around the state. However, this should not be interpreted as an indication that anyone in our class actually got a job through OCI. Almost everyone with a summer job got it through some connection related to family, previous work, etc.

Some students in the 2L class are doing summer programs in Switzerland or Australia. First, it's odd to think of ourselves as 2L's. It's also perhaps a little premature for a few people in the class who shall remain nameless. Anyone who actually reads his appellate brief at the podium and yells at the student judges during oral arguments has a good chance of being one of the few people to ever actually fail out of law school. Honestly, how bad does it have to be when the most awkwardly nice professor on the planet tells you that your argument was a "train wreck." Anyways...second...ah, to have money for traveling. I suppose I could have talked the parents into one of those programs considering that they were going to send dearest little sister to Egypt this summer. Yes, Egypt...really. I know people say "bumfuck Egypt" as a clever way of conveying the concept of "the middle of nowhere," but it really is Egypt this time. I'll have to get out of the country one of these days, but it just didn't feel quite right this summer. That's mostly the case because I didn't feel like spending my remaining loan money on a foreign summer program.

Some people are just taking a break and bumming around. I probably fall into this category at the moment in some sense, but it will only last for a couple of weeks before summer classes start and the beloved law review write-on competition materials are released. It's quite nice to have time to actually breathe and not feel guilty for doing anything not school or career-related. However, it's not so nice when your new part-time employer wants you to cover an entire day alone in the library starting at 7:30 AM when you have yet to even check out a book. I'm really just bitter because I have to be here at 7:30 AM...the job isn't so bad. It mostly consists of sitting at the desk ready to be helpful. I can read (leisure reading, holy shit!), play around on my laptop, and do pretty much anything else that isn't loud and/or obscene. Do-nothing jobs are great for about 3-4 hours at a time but agonizingly boring much beyond that, so I hope this all-day thing doesn't become the normal course of business.

Some people are having major dental procedures that will hopefully signal the beginning of the end of years of spending more hours in dentists' offices than anyone except the dentists themselves. Said people are missed very much.

Shit...I just realized that I'm still doing something school-related even though classes are not in session and I'm not working for a law firm. It really is impossible to escape.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Con Law - Part Eins

Well, here we are...the last final of year #1, fondly known as the Ninth Circle of Hell. I'm sitting here feeling overly confident about Prof. Son of a Bitch's Con Law exam. The last time I felt confident about an exam was for Evidence three days ago. Scrolling down to the previous post should tell you how that turned out. I've also developed some kind of sore throat in the last two days, so I've been popping Aleve Cold and Sinus as if it will actually help. So far my brain feels awake, but my body feels like I've been fighting an epic battle with that sexually frustrated crocodile again. Those of you with minds in the gutter shouldn't go there. OK, so maybe my mind went there too.

Here's hoping for questions with at least some indication of a clear answer. Regardless of how this exam goes, I fully intend to forget my name and where I live tonight.

To the first year of law school, here's a hearty "fuck you." Cheers.

Monday, May 7, 2007

The Curse of Evidence

Our Evidence professor has given the same type of exam for years now. It consists of 40 multiple choice questions, 10 of which have a space afterwards in which to explain why choice D is correct or incorrect. There is also a fairly short essay question. This essay question has been on differences between the FRE and the rules of evidence of this state every year for a long time now. He picks a particular area of evidence rules and essentially has students explain the differences in detail. This was common knowledge, and everyone has been obsessing about the subtleties of these differences for weeks. The 2L's and 3L's all assured us that he has given essentially this same test for as long as anyone can remember.

Direct quotes from an exchange during the exam review session on the last day of class in Evidence:

Professor: I hate reading long answers. The space provided will be more than enough for both the short answers and the essay.

Student: (looking directly at last year's FRE/ARE comparison essay, including sample answer, which was distributed at the review session) So you're not going to give us a fact pattern or anything for the essay?

Professor: Are you serious? I just said I don't like reading long answers, especially handwritten ones. If I gave you a fact pattern, you people would write way too much.

We got a complicated, confusingly worded fact pattern on the exam. It's like expecting to get a warm, fuzzy, playful puppy at Christmas, but when you open that big moving box with the air holes, a 16-foot starving and sexually frustrated crocodile jumps out.

I hate law school. I hate the fact that summer interships for two entire years (and to a large extent, initial post law school job offers) are determined on the basis of first year grades which mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING except that some people are better at writing law school exam answers. No, I don't have poor grades.

I want to take a hostage. Oh wait, if I do indeed take a hostage sometime soon, this statement might be admissible under 803(3) as a statement of intent to prove that I actually took a hostage under the present state of mind hearsay exception.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Dear God...

T minus 8 minutes until the Property exam starts.

Poll: Should I

A) strangle myself with my laptop power cord before the exam
B) wait for the internal bleeding from the rape I'm about to experience to kill me in about 5 hours

Quick, I need advice.